................ new york sound development artist . music experimentation linked to true imagination and enjoyment for popular sounds meeting the disapproved..........

Diary March 08 page is this yes

13th March: just was sitting down after getting rid of all my "to do" things in my business diary. I played some guitar with my hand which has no finger nails for the first time in 16 or 17 years. I usually have long finger nails for finger picking but thought i should start fresh.

It's wonderous how you awake when you just bump into an artistic moment. I sat and sang and played and felt true again. This time around, I could hear ideas and concepts entering without any effort. When it flows, it really flows and you have to make sure to keep that feeling in your mind and body, to tap into at later points in time. It lasted for about 25 mins.

It's been a couple days since the visual performance, I feel very thank full for having had the chance to collaborate with a friend before his unrestricted departure from sie city. The focus now bends over to creating new concepts, that through unrestricted actions in the last few months, has dealt me with lots of great material, both pictures, visuals and found samples. I'm setting up my apartment studio again with a few new goodies. I think i'll have some new material up very soon, less restriction again, but only because I trust my instinct more this time around.

Nick McGavern

29th March: Just sat in the dark for an hour, quite a few places had their lights off too, which was nice to see, the ones who didn't, ehhhh i bet they simply didn't know about the no lights thingy, or they were people who think they already do enough for saving the world, that they didn't have to consort to such things. Just do it! Ahhh well. So i found out that i need to see my art the same way i see my work. It's not a hobby, it's what I do and lucky for me, I love it.
I need to now fit it into my time table like my job. The Job has had so much time with me over the years, now it's time to give the composing the same chance. Why not I say.

As a tidy kid should do, I've spent the last 2 weeks, coming out of a high volume of work, into a time for cleaning, sorting out shit and clearing my timetable. Now that I've done that, i'm more stressed then ever, only because I've been in my apartment for too long in one go and the whole cleansing thing has been like a detoxifying trip for the head and mind, and I must have been pushing it, cause the symptoms of overworking are showing through.

Just realized i've only been out of my apartment for a couple hours over the past week. It's kind of a jail but with all the good stuff. I bought a new bike, and will start to ride in the mornings. That should get me onto a good thing. Shall bring out the trailer onto you tube for the performance fragments project on Wednesday coming. Some new forms of marketing for my business are due for some attention as well. I'll probably be much better at this typing thing next week. Right now i'm kind of puzzled. Not myself. It's the detox talking, i'm kind of going loopy, in a kind of non artistic way, body will catch up soon.........

6th April: Just watching a doco. I love doco's, and like it said, humans are all about finding out what the point of everything is, so naturally, for someone like me who is currently not studying or doing something science based, research based, doco's, books etc are a great fascination. So this doco was talking about what Theodore John "Ted" Kaczynski aka the Unabomber was kind of warning us about, what movies like Terminator propose. That in the future, and now, not to far in the future, peoples brains will be mapped completely, and quantum computers will be working sufficiently enough, at a far greater speed then our own brains. The super god will be created, perhaps. Some find it could be the end of humans, some find it could create a wonderful new world, where we create our own physical gods. Gods which can do and create anything we want. Man oh man, what about computer viruses etc, or crashes or blah blah blah, it's just so damn hard to conceptualize, and then it's not.

What i'm more interested in finding out is, how about disorder, or generation of artistic minds. Anything that is artistic, is quite often small elements of illness in the brain. It's seen or titled as illness because it's not what you get as a stock brain, as the norm one could say. If we measure the brains of a norm type person, and that becomes our super god, or we measure the brain of a gifted person, what type of super gods will we create? Is there an element to the brain and what we do as beings that can not be measured, that can not be stored and therefore explained? Maybe the future computers will understand it, but we will be to dumb to understand what these computers are saying to us. Man, that would suck hahaha. The main thing i took from this doco, is we can't live in fear. Human intervention in evolution is speeding up so much. What i do think is that all the brains currently living on earth, will one day be surpassed by some super computer god like thingy, and people with money will be the ones with the remote control. This doesn't seem fair, and is what fear is derived by. Power driven suckers. Do we really want to create something that is not human, that will be like this? It's like we should only build it, lol (i've only caught on to saying lol recently, lol!) if it's like one of those kids super hero concepts, that only if everyone is willing to believe in a certain thing, only then can it be turned on. That, without science i believe, is always happening anyway, spiritual evolution. Unfortunately we just can't help ourselves, we want it fast, and now, rather then in the flow of the natural universe.

Unless the natural flow of the universe has let us manifest this technology for a reason, I'm not sure if it's all such a good thing. Anyway, i guess we will all see in time, or maybe some will and some won't, or maybe it's all in my head and I just made up that doco hmm, maybe i'm the super computer, and i've programmed this whole world up, and in fact, i already destroyed the universe, it's actually mars, and i'm a computer tablet which invaded earth some 20,000 years ago. Man i should go to sleep now, i'll have the best dreams tonight! I'm such a boy, yehaaaaa, thanks doco!!!!

9th April: Wow, it's so great isn't it, when your in the mood for stuff. I've kept to my basic daily routine for a few days now, and because my body is healthy again, and i'm getting enough sleep, i'm just venting my ideas into reality. Just finished the visual release audio, and will dub it to the final visuals tonight. I'm hunting for a old antique coffee jar for my album, which will probably be part of the front cover, I can actually start to smell and see what the package will be, yeah!!!! So many ideas, so much lust for it, i'm busy man, i'll be back to chat again very soon, tooooooooooooooooot!.........

Ow and i love the visual performance thingy, the 25min version is so addictive, i want to watch it again and again!!! thank you Nick!!!!!!!!!.............thank you Damo!!!!!!!!!..................thanks mum!!!!!!!!!

16th April: ahhh what was I thinking about before, it was good, am am am, damn

17th April: ahhhhhhhhhh

24th April: Maybe one should use their art as a trogon horse, hide your true intentions, the by-product of people's reactions, documenting post, to illustrate point...... Don't forget to feed people drinks and nice finger food .... Pull them in and flush them out ..... but be nice, nice is nice ya!

22nd May: Ok so it's time to mentioned that the remix project is going very well, over 20 remixes have been sent back in just under 2 weeks now, that'll keep going till the end of June, when i have to ahhhhhh choose the best 8 to 12 remixes for a compilation cd. That performance fragment ep 3 is now going to come out on a few net labels, the main one being acroplane .... And on top of that, a 5th EP is currently being created, with my casio keyboard, some live drums sounds, vocals and a few feature 5 string guitar parts ... I'm really looking forward to my travels in July and August ...

25th May: Fuck yeah, so, yes, note to self before it leaves me again. You are attempting to capture those visions, those continuous sound , visual trips you go on with, the ones you sing to at points, the ones that don't allow your legs to stop doing random beats. They are only random when you try and redo it, when it's in motion, it's so so close to being there, your goal with the album, which has only appeared on a track called snail so far, is to translate those visions, into a popular song format which can later be re-created and added on to, improvised over again, the human side of the 2 sided coin. Over your eyes they go, let me flip to and flop, capture it, you know how, technology allows you to these days, but what good is technology when you let it rule the game. HELLO! in a sheepish voice. Back into it. All your basic concepts in EP's have set you up for something great. Something darn right weird, but yet, I think a lot of people will enjoy it, because aren't we all, when we are left to be in our thoughts, searching for that next sound, that next awareness? We don't find it by using the usual means, it's also not something corny like it finding you, it's your damn responsibility to let it come through, to not get lazy, to not jump on the band wagon, don't, you mustn't! I'm rambling again, and that's usually when i'm happiest.......................................... another fucking potato!

P.s. Like always, I never write on my diary's etc when i'm under a physical influence, i simply got out of the shower and had some great long windy performances going off in my head, the head crowd really enjoyed it, especially the in side out stomach in the center of the crowd area, continually inverting itself and spitting out brass sounding cum, not sticky though, it disappears before coming in contact with humans.

And see now after all that, I just got it in my head how i'm going to do it, but I won't write it here, as I don't want to let the cat out of the oversized pancake box, with that red and white striped cardboard lid that never really shuts correctly, you know it almost does, and then you have to lift it up all the way and take a vacuum cleaner to the dust inside it's small hinges that seem never to resist the lust for dirt and dust and congestion. Cities are like skin rashes, just depends on who's body it's on and if it's carefully covered with some appropriate clothes, hopefully ones that are in fashion so that it becomes and big dusty, dirty wart like city, full of underground veins that spread similar structures to other sides of the body in a mater of seconds................

Tv in side the tv

ying yang

i like restrictions

we want what we don't got

film clip, pop side , all good enough said. I came up with the idea of how to use a certain piece of technology, when it wasn't in my presence anymore. It's physical self had left and therefore I was the conductor. The same is for any problem solving, when your doing something else or away from your lab, that's when the answers start flying in.

To remix (think jazz band tracks one by one) is to trace, the above is however not to trace, remember that tidy, you are being traced, by yourself!

26th May: So I'm home from doing stuff, and i'm feeling like shit, bit lonely, the usual (let's not say usual), momentary little low that always comes after large highs, but once I re-read my previous thoughts, i'm all of a sudden cured. Don't let depression take over, it's only good for moments. When your on a high, it's usefull to make a mental note of it, then re-visit it when needed.

What i also have to do is realise that after physical exercise, i'm quite often give my body a mental high as well, and I can be left with a productive artistic moment. Maybe I should ride my bike at unusual times of the day, or go running in very inappropriate places so that I feel naughty but nice. I might do some more exercise now, then maybe i can record one of my automatic writing trips, no bee's here today, damn!............................ (weird exercise is only a quirk and not a must)

5th June: Making music can sometimes feel a bit like your doing that good old routine, "hey mum! watch me mum! watch me!". Except it's not your mum any more (well my mum's cool so her too) but it's for your fellow music making peers. You have a vision of what you want to make, and then you some times get caught up with conforming to the growing sound of those who are popular. That's really the wrong thing to do. What is cool however, I find, is to add an element of that high production popular sound within a track, just a hint here or there, and then cont. to build a track that is very unique and very you! It's all about self esteem. If you believe in yourself (no i'm not corny!) and believe that your own talents are worth putting out there, you should run with that. But don't forget, it is a game, so have a go, and play it, contrast I think is what it all comes back down too. A bit for them and a lot for yourself, and the two can create a winning combination. Once you got that, then you can start to really push the boundaries, but in a very innovative way!....

21st August: Ahh bit late for a new entry, hehe, i've been overseas for 2 months, and now have returned home, and i'm definately onto a whole bunch of new highs. Starting a new daily diary here. Click Here, nah, joking, click here....